After the deep dive of retrograde Summer 2018 we are about to take the exam on how well we learned some important lessons. To do that, hidden agendas have the curtains ripped back this week. Ready or not, the Truth has more to reveal and yes, it ‘will set you free’. Whether or not it also ‘makes you miserable’ as the old saying goes, is your choice. It will be uncomfortable. However, not having the information costs you far more discomfort in the long run. So take your moment now or take a bigger one in the months ahead. You decide.
There is a kinder purpose behind this weeks momentary misery, it’s so you can level up your ability to trust your inner knowing. The greater the upset this week, the more you ignore your own intuition. There’s also an element of fear that comes up so you learn to differentiate between fear and intuition. Fear is always a contraction but it carries strong emotions, justifications, rationalizations and excuses along for the ride. Intuition is the eye of the storm that says, not here, not now, yes I’ll do that or let’s take the next step. There’s a very different felt sense in the body between the two. Watch for it as opposed to trying to talk yourself into it.
Be careful talking too much to other people to get their opinions. If your heart line curves up towards your fingers you need to discuss things, but not the actual decision itself. Watch for where you give up your opinions to stay in relationship, that is one pesky hidden agenda. The other is watch where you feel you have to convince others to see it the same way you do. This is one more hidden agenda. The goal is to own your Truth that’s right for you, in this moment, whatever the situation is.
That doesn’t mean to ‘achieve’ evolution you must be agenda free. Nope, not likely last time I checked. It’s called being human. The difference is your motivations – which ones are driven by fear versus which ones are driven by love. Know thyself. When you do, then you can safely share them in your relationships in a way that feels freer of shame and blame. When those you love know those icky bits about you and love you, this is when you get the confidence to do something more than the creation that comes from those sticky icky places.
First you have to see and own the places where you secretly want others to fail or want them to be shown as fallible so you don’t feel alone there. It’s a human weakness, and you won’t move beyond it to a place that recognizes other’s success actually helps to wire your brain for your own version of success unless you acknowledge it’s there. Achievements activate simple brain biology. Mirror neurons help us learn what is good for us versus what is harmful. When another achieves something, it shows us what is survivable. So feel your way this week, don’t let the dark spots blind you to the ‘whole’ you. The Cards and the Stars will help.
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For now, find the Truth of your hidden motivations. They matter, they are part of you and crave a relationship with you better than the one you have. Conflict, disagreement, disappointments can almost all trace their roots back to this place. So let the tension of resolving your wants and needs in a better, more honest way help get you airborne, butterfly.
Card of the Week: The Seer (Reversed)
There are several ways this wise woman can show up when reversed. Hidden agendas pop up, betrayals are revealed, unseen weak spots suddenly become visible and before you decide what it all means, get quiet. That’s the best message for what happens this week. What you tell yourself about anything that comes to light is even more crucial than whatever happens. Because this is where your viewpoint needs to be adjusted. Some agendas and betrayals are because you partner with people who act in survival mode and can’t consider someone else. What made you choose them or how often does this pattern show up for you? Some betrayals are because you first betrayed yourself. You’ve shown the other person that time and again you don’t speak or act on your behalf so they model for you what extreme self interest looks like. It’s the opposite to your own self abandonment. Where do you need to balance your needs with another’s for an improvement? It is possible and optimal to have a healthy mix of both interests when you have a shared goal. Maybe what comes into view is whether the goal you have really is shared by those you have to help you achieve it. Dig deeper this week with the information that comes to light. It has something very good to offer, like manure on a garden. Use it to fertilize the life you live.
Monday: Nine of Bows, Respect
There is a call for Integrity with this Nine. We all cut corners in life, it’s a human condition. But over time the little bit you shave off can accumulate and suddenly you are far from the core of where you began. Jupiter and Saturn add their energy to the Nine and say time for a fairness and sincerity check in today. Are your actions in alignment with your words, are both in alignment with your heart? The aspects Mercury, Jupiter and Saturn ask you to fact check where your communication is superficial, or driven by a need to be seen rather than honest sharing what you feel. Fear leads to with-holding, which keeps communication on the surface. Find who and where you can tell an honest Truth to about yourself today. Discover what matters to you enough to tell the Truth, and then take a good look at who can hear it. Alignment of your core feelings, words, and actions are possible and promising today and a great way to start the week.
Tuesday: Nine of Vessels, Generosity (Reversed)
Ouch, watch for defensive tendencies to show up today. Yours, others, doesn’t matter who it is, the wound must be dealt with if you want to improve your relationships. The good news is two Nines together mean contentment and co-operative endings are possible. Explore habits of isolation, self judgement and repressed emotional needs. Chiron is in the mix to help heal those wounds rather than hide behind them, no matter how justified it may feel. The goal is emotional maturity. Get there through the combination of compassion and strength. You have to face the shadow with love and then do something better than use it as an excuse. It can be a rude awakening without kind eyes or it can be a break with the pattern with a loving approach. Time to ditch unnecessary defenses that keep people at more of an arm’s length than you really want or need.
Wednesday: The Green Woman (Reversed)
Boy, put on your big kid pants today, there’s some adult work to do. You have to go deep sea diving and it goes back to childhood. Our relationship patterns are set as children and only with awareness and effort can you modify that original imprint. Question you must face today is where do you fall short of the life you want? Everyone has some idea of what they want their life to be like. How much of that picture was ‘trimmed’ off for what you could get rather than risk going after what you want? The Green Woman reversed is where we are cut off from abundance, flow, love and connection. It’s the original wound, that shows up around personal creation life force. To create anything is to risk loss and with Pluto in the mix, fear of love and loss cripple more than a few dreams. You simply can’t live an abundant life without facing these fears that have you armored and defended past a point of healthy enjoyment of a richer, fuller life. Then the next layer is how well you can ‘nurture’ it into being. Too much compassion when you are frightened of loss actually increases fear. Too little makes you ruthless and even bullying while serving up excuses that ‘the Mom’ in you knows better than the individual does. Big kid pants, indeed. Unhealthy habits, obsessive fears, over estimating threats are some of the signs you are cut off from The Green Woman in your life. Kindly look closer and have compassion for the young you that experienced a place where it was all real. Then pull up your pants, stick out your chin and tell yourself you survived and more than that, you are going to go beyond that helpless place. Take a friend if it feels better..
Thursday: Four of Wands, Celebration (Reversed)
The reversals are the echo of all the retrogrades we’ve experienced the last few months and this week was stacked with them. What’s fascinating is the Green Woman of yesterday combined with the Four of Wands, Reversed speaks to a specific situation. Time to grow up and leave the nest. Your fears have kept you in a place of childhood where threats were ‘out there’ and they were bigger, smarter, faster and scarier than staying safely small at home. Today you see where you’ve sacrificed your own wants and desires to stay small and connected to those you love. Or you see where you’ve asked others to sacrifice their dreams and wishes so you aren’t left behind. It’s not an easy task to navigate connection and individual growth. Freedom and commitment are often seen as a teeter-totter. When one goes up, the other goes down. Where can you put together a different model, one that has both elements. Of course then you have to face competition, loss, failures on a bigger scale than you experience now. The rewards also go up. So does self esteem and opportunity. Fours are always the four corners and Bows represent Spirit or Fire, which can consume all impurities to give off heat and light. Good to keep in mind that whatever you give up, you gain the Fire’s rewards. Make those rewards a warm glow or brilliant blaze, but do watch out for the blow torch. That’s usually a juvenile use of self important power, misapplied. Learn and grow, learn and glow.
Friday: Ten of Stones, Home (Reversed)
Payment is due for dishonest and unearned gains today. There’s no amount of emotional protests that can talk your way out of this today and it’s a good thing too. If you are the offender, the interest accrued on this kind of unethical behavior compounds, so no use putting it off for greater cost. If you’ve been dealing with unethical or shady motives in others, you might well see what goes around, come back around. Be gracious if you can. Own the human part of you that is glad to see bad behavior that threatens your feeling of a secure world corrected. That’s normal. Just remember, you want to be as generous with their correction as you hope others would be if you need correcting. Everyone makes mistakes. Grace doesn’t mean you okay the bad behavior, it means you object to the actions/words not the person themselves. Watch for grace misapplied. When you let bad behavior off the hook by removing consequences, you are part of the unethical behavior by agreement. Stand lovingly with those who have to answer for the breach of trust and let them know they can get through it and make a better choice next time. Sun and Saturn are in the picture so there is long term good for many to be gained from today’s karma correction. If it’s yours, take it with your adult pants on and know you can do better. Grab a compassionate friend who won’t let you off the hook, but loves you anyway. Watch out for justifications, rationalizations and excuses. They feel good for a moment but aren’t truly helpful for anyone in the long run.
Saturday: Eight of Stones, Skill (Reversed)
Ah, the last of the Reversals and it’s about repeating patterns. Creativity involves tension between what exists now and what is coming into being. How well you hold that tension goes back to childhood training. Creativity wounds are one of the largest shared pain points in people, it brings up great fear. But fear always guards power, so the more afraid to take a risk you are, the greater the chances are that what you create will enlarge your world. Fear doesn’t like the unknown and projects all kinds of worst case scenarios onto it. There is wisdom in cautious expansion, and yet the emphasis is to expand with calculated risks taken into account. Today you have some terrific support to go beyond your creative boundaries set by fear and trust yourself more. You may not do it perfectly, you may not even do it well, but do it. Take one step forward in a direction you desire. Take stock of what you gain, what it costs, what works and what doesn’t. Congratulate yourself for the courage and then stretch a little further and take the next step, or try a baby step in another direction. Time to take the close loop of this eight and test your skill at life in a bigger arena.
Sunday: Two of Vessels, Attraction
See, you are better at creativity than you knew. The Cards and Stars line up today to underline that Truth for you. Your job is to take it in and let it settle bone deep. There’s one pesky Neptune aspect that is like a fly in the ointment that offers brilliant reasons why you shouldn’t do too much or conversely telling you that you are a master after one attempt. Better to search out the Goldilocks moment of ‘just right’ on self congratulations. Not too big, not too small. The shadow side of today’s aspects with Moon, Neptune opposing each other is where you go looking for someone else to make you feel better about your risks and creations. Whatever you want to hear or feel from others, give it to yourself first. Stand in front of a mirror even. Acknowledge that we create to be seen in the world. It’s natural to go looking for validation, but where has that external report card outranked your own approval? It never feels you can get enough when disowned need has us seek out effusive, large scale or constant praise. Like a starved animal the hidden hunger to be seen feasts greedily on approval, both earned and unearned and claims it for our own. Time to look with adult eyes at what we accomplish, give ourselves credit then accept appropriate positive feedback from those who witness us. Earned feedback is a healthy mechanism to reinforce more creation. There is more you have to offer the world and the better your system to do it, the easier it gets to contribute and feel great about it.