The Real “Poop” On Relationship Makeovers

What if your relationship could be like Disneyland, the Happiest place on Earth? Okay, Disneyland on a slow day so the lines aren’t terribly long and the weather is fantastic. A playground just waiting for you with fun, adventure, indulgent foods, favorite movie bits and…well you get the picture. What would THAT relationship be like, hmmm?

You’d show up together everyday decide what was on the ‘play list’ for that day and then go about having a kick ass time, right? This is what is possible in the happiest relationships. Yet I talk to people every day and a very different picture emerges. We are funny creatures when it comes to our brains defense mechanisms, and there is nothing like emotional risk to bring up the best defenses (and worst behaviors).

Say you’ve met someone new, or your relationship is heating up and guess what, suddenly there’s a litany of things to avoid that high jacks the fun play time.

It’s as if you are standing at the entrance to the happiest place on earth going over a list of what you don’t want. I picture it like this…

“Oh don’t take me over by Space Mountain, last time there was a kid projectile vomiting and I almost joined him, I can’t go there again!”
“The Matterhorn gave me a neck ache that took two visits to the chiropractor to fix, I won’t do that at all.”
“What do you mean you don’t like A Bugs Life, it’s my favorite place, how can you not like that! How can I be with someone who doesn’t love A Bug’s Life?”
“But I want to take you to the Swiss Family Robinson tree house, why don’t you trust me, it’s not scary. My judgment is good. You don’t respect me!”

You get the picture

We are so focused on what we don’t want, what didn’t work, where we aren’t feeling considered that we don’t see how much fun is possible on the flip side!

That’s the way our brains are wired, to protect us from too much expansion and the unknown. And when two people are falling in love, or getting closer, there are a lot of unknowns, yes indeed. So our brain has us fixated on what we know protects us from our past, never pausing long enough to remind you that you survived whatever it was, learned from it and don’t have to fear it again. Instead see your power and know you can do it differently.

Easier said then done, I know. Your brain stem is not keen on you hearing and acting on that little factoid. Not even a little bit. Because then you could see this: Picture two kids falling in to the place with nothing but excitement and anticipation about everything they can squeeze in to the day, please. More appealing?

Doing it differently with an open heart and open mind is where the ‘Happiest” part comes in – because the two of you haven’t been done this day, this way together before. Who knows what is possible when you two mix what you want and what you know. That’s the part that rattles the living daylights out of your brain stem, the ever present, fast-acting security guard in your brain.

Based on whether you are more earth, air, fire or water you have different protection mechanisms that kick in to do the policing job. Earth is the body, your physical self. Air is your mind and the thinking portion of you, water is the emotional self and fire is the intuitional or divine self. Trust me, they all have their unique way of cock-blocking expansion.

So I’m going to do a little call, my gift to you for reading my posts and being curious about you. We are going to talk about protection plans and how to rework them for your EXPANSION benefit. I’m all for you enjoying Disneyland! Now THAT’S a makeover…

Join me next Tuesday night 10/22/13 at 7pm PST and let’s spend an hour talking about you and how you work. Your hands tell a story and it’s uniquely yours, I’ll help you decipher it. There are even exercises to retrain your brain for those who haven’t worked with me before. They’re proven, road-tested and ready to use to relax the big burly brain stem and let you have more FUN. You’ll like how portable they are, too.

Email me at and I’ll send you the log in for the call, courtesy of me. It’s a risk free call – how’s that for making your first step painless. Talk with you Tuesday…

Lisa Greenfield

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