There is pain, that shocking jolt of nerve endings in the body that is tied intrinsically to our emotions. Whether the emotions cause the pain or the physical pain comes first, it registers like an earthquake to our system in big situations. In other cases, it’s a long slow build up of sensation that leads to the eventual temblor that rolls through us.
Avoidance of pain is hardwired into us as survival tool and that avoidance is part of what twists us into human pretzels in trying to dodge another blow.
The challenge is when it gets so conditioned to expect the blow and dodge, that we contort ourselves away from what we want to distance ourselves from what we don’t want.
Giving birth to anything is painful. Imagine being in the womb, floating blissfully with all your needs met, before you even know you have them. Then suddenly, whoosh, the water that cradled you pours out and you are squeezed into a dark, airless, pressure filled canal. That’s nature’s way of ending one chapter and beginning another.
So we have a certain amount of struggle and pain wired into life. Certainly it’s not meant to color all of life, but then neither is it completely absent from life. Our brain instinctively uses fear of pain, avoidance of pain as the reason to step back, say no, distance yourself from an immediate threat without taking in the bigger picture. That’s our brain stems job!
What’s important to remember is that some pain is a trade off for a bigger world. Risking yourself means opening up to the possibility of all kinds things happening including some sharp corners and edges. Some pain is a natural part of life, think of muscle training!
How you turn that acceptance into a way of life is the really important question to answer. Because long term pain wears down your expansion potential, robs you of joy and keeps you from engaging in a bigger life. It becomes suffering and can literally create a loop in your brain that is like a rut that your mind keeps circling.
A friend once said, “My mind is a bad neighborhood I just can’t get out of”. Suffering is the cul de sac our brains settle into when the hurts in life becomes a story we tell ourselves over and over again. Even if the landscape has changed, all you interpret is the same old story because that is what you are used to seeing.
So how do you get out of that bad neighborhood and pain story?
Pain needs a witness…
It is an incredible gift in our lives to have at least one person who can hear us and witness what is happening. Not necessarily for wise advice, although that’s a plus. Not because we need to be told what to do… often unwelcome, thank you very much. It just requires us being heard, seen, witnessed and accepted in that moment.
When the people we share with react to our story, sometimes it can feel sympathetic and supportive. Other times dismissive or discarded. However I want to suggest to you that when possible, find someone who can simply validate all your feelings, see you and acknowledge ‘this is hard, I can feel that’. Or practice offering that yourself and see what happens.
It’s not easy to do, which is why there are priests, counselors, therapists. These people play a part that allows for a witness without judgment. You benefit most when someone hears your suffering without jumping into it with you or distancing themselves from it.
Here’s my version of being witness for you – a little Hand Analysis to help with the process – some insight into YOU.
If your heart line is straight and short, ending under the middle finger, you have enormous potential to create in the physical world. You are an Earth Heart. So your brain stem limitation game will go to work getting you caught suffering feeling it’s you against the world.
If your heart line is low, straighter and longer, ending under the first finger you have enormous potential to create from the heart and draw to you the people to help accomplish things. You are a Water Heart, so your brain stem will have you feeling like it’s a choice between you or another person. Me versus you… Sacrifice versus isolation.
Then we have Air Hearts, where it is short and curves up towards the middle finger. You have the ability to see 360 degrees and make sense out of the whole picture, bringing logic to bear on matters that others are swimming in emotionally. So your brain stem will have you looping on perfectly making sense of the whole picture for everyone.
Finally we have you Fire Hearts with the long curved heart lines that end up near where the pointer finger joins the hand. You are masters at energetically driving new beginnings and showing people possibilities they hadn’t considered. So your brain stem keeps you caught in the creation loop feeling unseen and unappreciated for all you do.
Notice the heart line you have and which neighborhood you might be stuck in and require more of a witness.
Earth Hearts – Overwhelm and Fear
Water Hearts – Betrayal and Loneliness
Air Hearts – Perfection and Distance
Fire Hearts – Judgment and Impatience
If you want to get into a conversation, I would love to do that, I love seeing the Truth of you there in your hands.
For a select group I am starting a monthly call where you can bring your hands and your questions and share the time with like minded others while we explore our hands, our patterns and how to see ourselves more clearly and kindly.
Size will be limited, so if you are interested, get yours now! Calls will be the second Wednesday of each month. The next call is May 13th from 6:45-8pm PDT.
Monthly calls are $65 for 75 minutes – That’s over 80% off for sharing the effort to improve your individual neighborhoods!
If you purchase three calls at once you get them for $50 each, over 85% off. Take up to a year to use them. That’s over three hours of time unlocking your secrets in hand for the price of one half hour session with Lisa!
Feeling like enjoying the bargain? Get yours here!
Again, the class size is limited and I can promise you, will fill up quickly. So be sure to get yours if you want support getting out of that bad neighborhood in your mind. I’m here to help.
Thank you and here is to being witnessed this week! Wishing you that…