We have the Sun, Moon, Mercury and Pluto all hanging out in Capricorn on Wednesday. It’s in the constellation known for perfectionism and with all the aspects (including Saturn and Chiron in the mix this week along with Jupiter and Uranus), I want to talk about getting things right versus perfection.
It comes down to this simple fact. Things are going to go wrong in life so getting things right, doing something perfectly is an unconscious drive to save us from the pain of disappointment and fear of failure. Our brainstem likes the familiar; it knows how to survive what’s familiar even when it is uncomfortable. So we slide into patterns and repeat them. And repeat them. We repeat them because we know how to operate safely there. We are wired to avoid pain and seek pleasure as a survival tool.
So even though it’s tempting to want to stay with the familiar and hang out there… stuff is going to go wrong. It’s those things beyond our power to reason, think, strategize and manage that have us in turmoil. Because survival can be a driving force and avoiding failure can take on unnecessary importance. Most things won’t kill you, you just feel like they will. But it’s robbing you of life, this out of proportion need for security (Capricorn) at all costs.
2016 was shocking and uncomfortable for most of the world. That’s not to say good things didn’t happen, because they did. But many people remember the twists and turns, the challenges and the discomfort of the year. It was all to prepare us for what comes next. Because 2017 is a relationship year that hinges on the strength of you as an individual. How do you handle chaos?
The quality of your relationships, work, personal friends, family and romance are all going to go through changes that have the potential of an acorn in them. It’s up to you to bring forth the mighty oak or let it stay frozen in the ground untended. What will you give your time to this year? You place a higher value on what you spend the most time on in life. Where’s your treasure stored? Please don’t let it be all social media where true connection is limited.
To reap the biggest benefit from these aspects and all that is on offer you want to take risks, have some fail and you learn to survive and adapt because of the failure, not in spite of it. Not just once but again and again. You’re saved from a vicious loop of regret when the risks you take are with your whole heart. When you are willing to look foolish, be foolish, have mistakes and missteps revealed because what you are risking is your whole-hearted choice, then you win the victory no matter the outcome. Like the Jim Carrey commencement speech, you can fail doing something you chose as a safe option just as much as you can fail doing something you really want. Which one feels better? The latter choice does because our whole being lights up when you dare to reach for the big goals.
So I invite you, first, choose what is most meaningful to you in order to have the courage and strength to overcome any and all obstacles and risks to have what you want in life. Then, you have to commit to knowing that there was no better choice for you. Don’t second guess yourself; try to ‘perfect’ your choice in hindsight by ‘if only’ editing that makes you wrong. You have to know, really know that imperfections are exactly what help weave together the best possible outcome. Commit to that truth over and over again. Give it your attention and watch it grow.
Then know to watch out for the gifts of impatience and perfection who team up to get you to quit before you reaps the big rewards. It’s in screwing up, managing problems, overcoming obstacles that you build trust in yourself and learn who else you can rely on as well. The more challenges, the greater the awareness of what’s important to you. If you can easily quit and walk away then it wasn’t something you wanted enough to trade time, failure and frustration to gain. So look for the things that are worth that time, and let your efforts help reveal you heart to you. After all, you can’t get it wrong – you can just play small and safe. Next year is about taking the bigger risk for the bigger reward.
One of my favorite success stories is about a friend of mine many years ago who was dating a man younger than her. He got cold feet and instead of breaking up with her, cheated on her. All of her friends and the wisdom of the mob told her to dump him; he was too immature and untrustworthy to move on to get the happily ever after.
They instead went through a couple of counselors to find the right one and got engaged instead. One friend boycotted the wedding. Others predicted doom. Cut to a couple decades later, they are still married, in love, and with a lovely family to show for it. Because she trusted her heart she got the real gold ring. Not that there weren’t scary moments and difficult corners to navigate. That’s life … but she didn’t betray her heart and cave in to peer pressure to make the ‘smart’ choice.
This New Moon is about the reality that ‘happily ever after’ is one you create, one situation at a time, by how you deal with the crappy moments that show up in the midst of your fairy tale. Do you have the courage to do that? Trust me, it’s easier to cry outrage and point fingers at who and what went wrong (I know, I’ve had my moments there). That’s the young place in us that wants the world to be fair in order to feel safe.
The reality of this New Moon is to share with us – we make it fairer, more safe by how we handle imperfections. It’s like that quote by Miles Davis, “It’s not the note you play that’s wrong, it’s the note you play after it that makes it wrong or right.” So this week, start seeing the ‘wrong notes’ that are there in your life as an invitation to create something more. You contribute; you make it right by how you handle it.
You build resilience, strength and deeper connection when you can allow the notes to flow and simply improvise when you hear one that could be ‘wrong’. Make the next note be your unique contribution. Practice, practice, practice. What have you got to lose except a prison of perfection.
For those of you who love to see the year ahead and where your chance is to ‘play the right follow up note’ it’s time for the New Year reading. Each year I do a 12 Month Year Ahead Reading to see what you are creating next year. I love to hear the stories come back over how these readings show up in fun and exciting ways. Like the woman who met her fiancé, the first day of the month, when the cards showed her meeting the love of her life. Or the woman who optioned her script the month she had the big business breakthrough show up.
It’s like a treasure hunt map laid out for you and then you go off on your adventure. If you want yours this week, you get a bonus. You also receive a full year of the Daily Tarot Report emailed to you each week with the astrology and Tarot cards for each day. Instead of going to my site weekly to get it – it comes to you. Your 12 Month Reading is 25-30 minutes and is recorded with pictures of the cards so you can refer to them throughout the year.
If you share your stories of how things unfold this year, your name goes into a drawing for a free 12 Month reading for the end of 2017. This year’s winner is Nalini A. from New York!
Will you be the lucky someone who gets the bonus reading next year? I still have a few spots available this week for your reading, if you are eager to roll into the New Year with insight and anticipation. There’s even still room for one more appointment on New Year’s Eve!
I love to see what you have in front of you and share with you where you can create the most possible out of whatever is in the cards for you. Remember, obstacles help carve out depth and connection. So face this New Year knowing, you’ve handled 2016 and you can create a whole lot more this coming year. Wishing you a victorious New Moon and a safe and happy New Year.
All the best,
Edited by Tamara Lynn Grace