Nietzche said, “”if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you”. Halloween, the Day of the Dead and a dark Moon serve up your own personal abyss. Time to ensure that you haven’t become the monsters you fear as you try to distance yourself from them.
For example, the blame game is everywhere you look today. The news is full of people happy to attack others for being responsible in some way for their unhappiness or lack. I’ve been working on my version of this in several relationships, to sort out my horror of it’s ongoing presence. I attract blamers. Like positive and negative ends of the battery, blamers find the guilt carrier.
After working myself into a self righteous moral high tower, I rewatched Brene Brown’s series on The Power of Vulnerability. She herself is a self admitted ‘blamer’. Suddenly I second guess my condemnation of those loved ones who insist I’m the bad guy whenever things go wrong.
Because Brene Brown is someone I would hang out with even though she admits she goes to fault-finding when triggered. She describes it as “a way that we discharge anger, discomfort and pain. Blame is faster than accountability: Accountability is a vulnerable process that takes courage and time.” Which is why I would hang out with her, she manages her own process around being in blame. They can’t make me guilty if I don’t play the role.
So, pondering all this, I had to ask myself if I wanted to essentially shame those who blame me or do I want to change the whole dynamic? The Abyss is in front of me. Can I honestly acknowledge that part of my discomfort is that I immediately blame myself when they do and then have no place to go with my discomfort? Time to step up and let them discharge their discomfort but without me taking it as truth.
I’m all for accountability. I won’t stay in connection with those who aren’t willing to be accountable, but first I must be accountable. The path now is to see if I can provide safe space for them to find their way there by finding my own way there as an example. It won’t be easy, some may not join me there. But damned if I won’t give my best shot. I’m not willing to let the void swallow me whole. That’s your work this week. Let the darkness give birth to a new light in you, one that doesn’t swim in the midnight swamp of fear, where the shadow of being unlovable drives our worst behaviors.
You have only to look at the headlines and see the actions of those who could no longer live with the pain inside of them and were all too happy to assault or annihilate to discharge it. Personal responsibility and accountability badly need role models. In big and small ways, you can add to the problem or the solution this week. The Cards and Stars will help.
Card of the Week: Ten of Arrows, Instruction
This is one of the darkest cards in the deck, so of course it appears. Failure, betrayal, the falling apart of plans is hard to accept and we struggle here. That darkness forged some of your personal abyss. How do you cope when things go wrong? Who do you blame? Life holds a broad array of moments that range from the very best to the worst. How do you handle defeat? With murkiness on the rise, people more quickly look for scapegoats. Happiness to hang blame for all manner of issues on someone else began as far back as Adam and Eve. When God asks Adam for an accounting, he blames Eve for tempting him. Eve blames the snake. Personal accountability, or perhaps the lack of it, is tied into the loss of Eden.
Where can you take responsibility for what you feel and need so you can find the Paradise where that exists. It is there for you, it exists. That state of existence where what you feel and need is answered can be your Heaven on Earth. And you must create your own Eden. One accountable choice at a time. This is the ‘instruction’ that the empowered Ten of Arrows brings. Your mind must accept what is yours and allow others to carry what is theirs, without shame or blame. Hold the space with your brave choice and invite others to join you as you reap the rewards. Then Paradise becomes populated with those you love who work at the connection with you.
Monday: Seven of Stones, Healing
Mercury and Jupiter team up today to heighten your ability to synthesize ideas and bring together seeming opposite points of view. But with the Moon and Neptune all soft focus, be mindful you don’t decide to save the world in one conversation. Stones are about manifestation, make it real. So take one bite size step towards that big picture that emerges for you today. Because Chiron is in sync with the Mercury/Jupiter meet up, you can make progress on healing when you keep your fears of failure and the attendant sharp-edged coping skills in the back seat where they belong.
Your wounds are part of you but let the strength you gained through their education benefit your expansion plans rather than persuading you to build more walls of defense. Agility, understanding, a strong sense of your core values and which actions align with those values serve as a solid but flexible backbone. Work from this place and let it heal you and those you care about.
Tuesday: Five of Arrows, Frustration
Today’s celestial line up is quite impressive, but rather than listing the litany of aspects, instead it boils down to one key thing. Don’t let unrealistic expectations bring you crashing to Earth. Often what we see early on in any situation is a projection of what we want to see. As the Abyss reveals itself, be sure to look at where your snap judgements of things still unfolding cost you more than you realize. We expect results or at the very least progress reports that reassure us we are on track.
When the reports don’t tell what we expect to hear, frustration rolls into view. A colleague says, ‘expectation is just premeditated resentment’. Timing is key. Stay open to information that can adjust the course of action. Ultimately results can exceed our imagination when we stay present, invested and out of judgement until we get the bigger picture. Patient reassessment can bring frustration back down from a boil and help cook up a new recipe as ingredients are thrown in unexpectedly. Create your way out of this…
Wednesday: Five of Bows, Empowerment (HAPPY HALLOWEEN)
Two fives in a row signals personal uncertainty. The invitation with this brave bowman is to choose creative power over fearful reaction. Venus opposes Uranus to free those desires to be bold and risk. The Sun and Moon square off for a little internal battle between our angel and devil side. One wishes to contract, the other to expand. Both are important but timing which one to use where is your playground. Some things require a pause or hit the reset button. Other matters need you to step up and be seen.
Uncertainty is part of the game of life. There is no ‘right’ answer in the cosmic scheme of things, because Nature can work with whatever you choose. So it’s just YOU that needs to feel your authentic yes or no and then commit to it. Feel it in your body, which always softens or opens with a ‘yes’. It contracts or tightens with a ‘no’, which can also be a ‘not now’. Feel your way and trust yourself. You can’t get it wrong unless you refuse to play. But you can have a lot more fun when you enjoy the process today.
Thursday: Four of Stones, Protection
The Moon and Mars oppose each other with Jupiter playing up the wounded part of us. Time to get real about where you’ve built walls rather than foundation under your feet. The aspects promise that when you stretch into appropriate shared vulnerability, the rewards are their own protection. When you learn to defuse a difficult situation, one where you are triggered or faced with someone your that plays the villain in your history, you make your world safe. The very actions you take to overcome historical fear and do it differently, rewires your nervous system.
You are safe not because the world is sweet and welcoming, but because you take care of what your feel and need. This provides you the foundation that allows safe expansion into all kinds of new opportunities, some that pop up as early as tonight. How much more fun is it when you can feel more excitement and anticipation then fear or dread.
Friday: The Green Man
Ah, the abundant energy of the Green Man. He offers the seductive promise that all will be taken in hand and dealt with accordingly. The challenge for you is to sort out what ‘accordingly’ means. Where do you compromise what you want and need for the sake of connection? It’s usually sitting right alongside of the place that manipulates or bullies to get agreement out of people in order to feel safe. Today you have to challenge the status quo wherever it asks you to compromise your values for the sake of belonging.
When you belong at that price you’ve sold your soul to the dark side. However you can get it back when you risk a loss of connection in order to bring more of the real you to the party. Even better, you can wind up with a better, more satisfying connection because we are all wired to long for it. But somewhere we got stuck in patterns around the wounded place rather than living in the abundance the Green Man brings to the table. Bring abundance back. You do it with your individuality. It is wanted and needed, no matter how rough the initial reception may be. That is just a reaction to change, which has fear involved. You can do it…
Saturday: The Wanderer
Ah the leap of faith is upon you! Today’s aspects serve up a Yod, which to skip all the geek speak, is like the finger of God pointed our way. The Abyss has been present all week, whether you stare into it or work around it. Now you are asked to cross the chasm and begin anew on the other side. Will you leap? Do you trust yourself enough to bring you past the old fears and patterns and let a whole new path emerge ahead of you?
It will not be what you expect, I can promise that. But it will also exceed any possible expectations. Of this I am sure. Here is what you need to master the leap. Reassure yourself that you have everything within you that you need. Really. Everything you lived through has prepared you in ways you probably haven’t even seen yet. But the wisdom and strength of it all is there inside of you. This crossing will tap into whatever you have and put it to work for you in some impressive ways, when you trust yourself and Spirit.
Leave the helpless, hopeless places of your past behind. Know the World in all it’s challenging spaces has a unique part that you fulfill. Fear, doubt, judgement and criticism are your body guards and they are strong but not smart. They work for you. Let your heart, body and spirit into the conversation. This is the integrated you that makes this leap a success at the very beginning.
Sunday: Five of Stones, Endurance
When you make a commitment, then comes the test. Will you stay the course when you get interference or even opposition? The Moon moves into Libra today and promptly squares Saturn. The squares always signal an adjustment is required. Saturn says you’ve got to learn the responsible lesson. Libra is your partners or people in your life. So guess what today will serve up? Tests that require you stay true to what you’ve learned this week. Whether it is your abyss or another’s, can you keep the adult space rather than use an excuse for bad behavior?
This Five is also the promise that you are almost at the finish line, don’t quit. What you’ve begun is already making a difference even if you don’t have enough perspective yet to see it. One degree adjustment on a long journey can put you on a whole new continent by journey’s end. So stay the course of being true to you. Model the change or as Ghandi said, ‘be the change you wish to see in the world’ and let that light dispel the dark around you. You do make a difference, one choice at a time.